Spies Circle the Garbage
Eric Holder (Who, me? Prosecute what?) is planning to water down our protection against unreasonable search and invasion of privacy – after his predecessors John Ashcroft and Michael Mukasey had already reduced it to a trickle of treacle.
New administrative guidelines will allow FBI agents to rifle our trash, search databases where we might lurk, and assign surveillance squads to worry our whereabouts even if we’re not under suspicion of anything whatever.
Given the urgent need to cut government expenditures, boy do I have good news for the Attorney General.
In my town and most others, we already have crews that not only rifle our garbage but actually pick it up and carry it away to do god knows what with it. We never complain, and since it’s all paid for by the local Department of Sanitation, the FBI can save up its money for some actual crime-fighting — going after big fish like bankers, self dealing governors and legislators, and Newt Gingrich, who made off with $1.6 million of our money that Freddie Mac was supposed to be keeping in a safe.
As an alternative — in case the FBI doesn’t want to do its data mining in municipal landfills — then as patriotic Americans we can volunteer to mail our trash directly to the Justice Department, saving them the labor-intensive expenses of light armored field rummage while providing the Postal Service with an avalanche of desperately needed income.
I would even donate money toward establishment of a Government Watchdog Obedience School. One should never stint on constitutional safeguards.