Monty Python Joins the Cabinet
Breaking News! (in the Fox News sense of, “It’s all lies, but we’re going to pretend it’s true because that’s what Rupert and Roger pay us to do.”):
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Dateline Washington, DC. President Obama has appointed John Clees, the former Minister of Silly Walks, to serve as Secretary of Ignoring Warnings — the new cabinet post created by an irremediable pattern of government officials sleeping at their various switches.
The SEC ignored multiple warnings about Bernie Madoff, Bush/Cheney/Rice and the FBI ignored loud alarms preceding the 9/11 attack, Chertoff and Heckuva Job Brownie slept through urgent calls to prepare for Hurricane Katrina, the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria pigeon-holed direct warnings by the family of the Christmas Day underwear bomber, the CIA and the FBI hide warnings from each other like squirrels, and the list goes on and on.
Under the new system, all warnings, alarums, and sinister portents will be forwarded to the Secretary — acting as the Look-The-Other-Way Czar — whose job it will be to ignore them.
Since he will inevitably fail to do so, no warning will be successfully ignored, and we’re all safe once again.