On Whom Their Favours Fall
A recent column in the Montreal Gazette quivers with moral outrage over Tiger Woods and dismisses any conceivable basis for ever regarding him as special – and the same goes for Barry Bonds, Lebron James, Michael Jordan, and Lance Armstrong. Sure they can all hit a ball or dunk one or ride a bike.
“But that doesn’t make any of them heroes,” this writer says. “In fact they’re about as far from being heroes as you can get.”
To the Montreal Gazette, sports is but a rumor, baseball just a memory (they misplaced the Expos), and the golf season lasts less than a week, in August.
One or two cheers for Canuck justice.
The Horse stands foursquare behind moral scruples and staunchly opposed to turpitude. Still, let’s define our terms:
With which public icons of high ethical conduct are we comparing Tiger Woods? With recent American presidents? With French presidents? Italian prime ministers? U.S. senators? New York governors? Megachurch ministers? Parish priests? With Sir Galahad – whose strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure? (Or Lancelot, who lanced a lot, including the boss’s wife?)
In Montreal, the yardstick would be Dudley DoRight’s.
And after we’ve compared behavioral norms of those who have sipped the temptations of celebrity, let’s consider work ethics. If Americans all worked at their vocations as hard as Tiger Woods has worked at his, not even George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Phil Gramm could have wrecked the economy.
But getting back to the moral high ground, what was it that motivated Sir Galahad to ceaseless risk of life and limb? The knight errant, after all, was that day’s romanticized version of the touring pro or the traveling salesman.
In the voice given to him by Tennyson, Sir Galahad tells us …
*
“And when the tide of combat stands,
Perfume and flowers fall in showers,
That lightly rain from ladies’ hands.
“How sweet are looks that ladies bend
On whom their favours fall!”
*
And then he goes on for 90 more lines, repeatedly claiming to be a virgin.
If we are expected to stand still for that kind of knightly protestation, then surely we can be forgiven for looking forward to the future jousts of Tiger Woods.
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