The Truth About Tiger
And another thing. All those spectacular golf shots? Computer animation. Tiger would hit some stupid shank from off the green, and animators would move the green until the hole got in the way of the ball. And Stevie Williams? Pixar. Shrek with a caddy bib.
It’s all fake.
So where is reality, now that networks run kewpie-doll news skits and newspapers have skeleton crews? We won’t know what to believe until Ted Haggard and Pastor Rick Warren tell us the megatruth and how much money to send in, and until Baba Wawa goes out to find Tiger’s Mom and asks, “How does it feel?”
Until then, we’ll have to settle for every news and talk show all day and all night showing buxom rumored enamorata and remonstrating about how people are talking too much about Tiger. But as the titillation begins to flat-line, their ratings-hungry bosses will finally have to remind them:
He’s not going to hit his tee shot until everyone shuts up.
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It seems to me that “outrage” is actually envy.
Envy of his golf shots, his wealth, and his access.
Comment by Wayne — December 20, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
Great closing line!
I went into Nike Town in San Francisco and Tiger’s image has disappeared.
C’mon this can get bigger. There’s a love-child somewhere with a giant plastic driver and a giant wiffle golf ball placing perfect drop shots into the neighbor’s backyard…destined to qualify for the PGA. And in Tiger’s final year, before heading for the Senior Tour…well you know the rest
Comment by Mike — December 20, 2009 @ 2:25 pm
Oops. That sounds like one of those Oedipus wrecks.
Comment by Al — December 20, 2009 @ 3:41 pm