Freedom Fries: a postscript
Who remembers Robert W. Ney or Walter B. Jones? Nobody? Good.
They were the Republican congressmen who loudly insisted in 2003 on striking the name “French Fries” from all menus in the House restaurants and replacing it with “Freedom Fries” because the French refused to join the U.S. in the Iraq war. Their patriotism also extended to French toast.
The French embassy responded that French fries originated in Belgium.
“We are addressing serious issues,” said an embassy spokesperson. “We don’t care what you call your potatoes.” Rep. Jones later repented, having decided in 2005 that the French were right and the war was unjustified.
There was a historical antecedent not much talked about at the time. When World War I broke out, there was a movement in the U.S. to rename sauerkraut “liberty cabbage.” And to the great amusement of the baseball world, major leaguer Herman A. “Germany” Schafer announced that he was changing his nickname to Liberty Schaefer.
Germany Schaefer was the kind of character that baseball (and Congress) could use today.
In October of 1914 he showed up, uninvited, at Police Court in Philadelphia to defend drunkards who were scheduled to appear that day. “Your Honor,” he said, “these poor souls should not be sentenced to 30 days in jail on a charge for which a millionaire would be sent home in a cab.” The judge agreed, and Germany took all the defendants to dinner.
On the field, his exploits were many. On a rainy afternoon when the ump refused to delay the game, he came to bat wearing galoshes and a raincoat. When he was playing for the Tigers, he hit a game-winning two-run homer, then proceeded to round the bases sliding into each base and finishing with a hook-slide into home plate, followed by a sweeping bow to the crowd.
Most famously, on August 4, 1911 – in a game between his Washington Senators and the Chicago White Sox – Germany Schaefer stole first base.
With first and third occupied, he had made a move to steal second, hoping to draw the throw so that the runner on third could steal home. White Sox catcher Fred Payne didn’t fall for it. So on the next pitch, Schaefer headed from second back to first.
He made it, of course. Didn’t even have to slide.
A hundred years later, I can still delight in the antics of Germany Schaefer – and I’m not even a baseball fan. But it took a slumming expedition into the Dictionary of Ignominy (actually in Wikipedia) to retrieve the names of those two clowns in Congress who preened and postured over Freedom Fries.
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GOOD OLD “LIBERTY” SHAEFER. WE NEED MORE PLAYERS LIKE HIM TODAY. I LOVED THE GALOSHES AND RAINCOAT BIT ALMOST AS MUCH AS RETURNING TO FIRST BASE.
Comment by JACK ROSEN — November 11, 2009 @ 11:02 pm
Germany Schaefer is my kind of guy! A guy who understands baseball and the human condition. They are interlinked subjects.
Comment by Dick Dell — November 11, 2009 @ 11:10 pm
What a great character! I never heard of Germany (or Liberty) Shafer, but I’m look him up. Apparently, the antics he displayed on the diamond are now echoed in the halls of Congress, where elected representatives make proclamations regarding the names of food. Only difference is that Germany Shafer knew he was funny, while clowns like Ney and Jones haven’t a clue. Which begs the question: Is retaining your seat in congress so important that you’re willing to make yourself look like an asshole in front of 300,000,000 people?
Comment by Steve Alber — November 12, 2009 @ 12:00 pm
Amazing, isn’t it? There’s no humor in the House, so the only time they’re funny is when they’re trying to sound important — or patriotic. History is going to see a great number of congressmen from our era as lying, posturing buffoons, and sociologists will marvel that otherwise intelligent people (including a few of our friends) kept re-electing them and enduring the consequences.
Comment by Al — November 12, 2009 @ 2:04 pm
Bob Ney is more famous in Ohio as the first Congressman to fall and be convicted in the Jack Abramoff scandal. What I find most interesting is that Nay supported a bill in 2006 that would have stripped all retirment benefits from any member of Congress convicted of a crime. But, As the GOP was in control of the House, that bill died. So Ney is now living on his $33,000 a year Congressional pension. More than enough to keep him in “Freedom Fries”.
Comment by Mrs D. — November 18, 2009 @ 9:48 am
I’m just relieved to hear that a Congressional pension is so modest. By the way, thanks for helping to turn Ohio around politically. Sherrod Brown looks like a real winner, doesn’t he?
Comment by Al — November 18, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
Sherrod is neat, but his wife, Connie, is neater!
Comment by Mrs D. — November 23, 2009 @ 7:38 pm