The Search for the Hogg Bison
Update: Front Ears of Science
Though theoretically quite massive compared with typical subatomic particles, the Hogg Bison has so far eluded all attempts by physicists to detect it. With the re-ignition this month of the Large Hadron super-collider at CERN in Switzerland, they hope finally to discover this mythical beast and learn its tricks for endowing everything else in the universe with mass.
Normally it is cryptozoologists who search for creatures such as Bigfoot, the Yeti, Baba Yaga, the Centaur and the Unicorn – and physicists sneer at crypto (or even non-crypto) zoologists as not being real scientists. Now it’s the softer side of scientists who are doing the laughing because they know perfectly well where the Hogg Bison is hiding, and it isn’t inside some particle accelerator under a Swiss chocolate factory.
As for endowing everything else with mass, the zoologists note that you can make bacon out of hogs and beef out of bisons and both out of hogg bisons, and when you eat enough Big Macs you get massive.
It’s simple, and the simplest explanation is usually the right one. That’s the scientific principle of Occam’s Razorback.