Rats in the Pantry

The rats in our national pantry are proving very hard to eradicate.

We ignorant groundlings keep thinking of obvious solutions, but the Beltway sophisticates (even the friendlies) won’t hear of it. Impeachment, for example, is still “off the table.”

Why? Are rats an endangered species?

And, to be honest about it, corruption, lying, bribing, collusion, and other such perquisites of power are not purely Republican vices. Treason is, but that’s another discussion.

What all the Beltway vices have in common is the lust for money. The Supreme Court is no help; in fact, the five right-wing justices are part of the problem. They just struck down a key pillar of campaign finance reform, and now they’re looking for other pockets of honesty to eliminate as soon as possible.

Here is a non-partisan approach to cleaning house.

What if political contributions were reclassified as illegal drugs? They’re certainly harmful; also addictive. Like most controlled substances, they can be administered in small doses without harmful effects. For political contributions, a reasonable RDA might be $200 or $300 per person, per election.

Anything over that amount is abuse.

The beauty of this idea is that it lends itself to realistic clinical trials to demonstrate its soundness. All the laboratory rats we could possibly need are already in the pantry.

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